The space rocket I could have been aboard explodes: Rhiannon Adam’s best photograph
Rhiannon Adam’s photograph of a SpaceX rocket explosion in April 2023 has become a powerful symbol of the end of her own dream to fly around the Moon on the dearMoon project. The image, taken from the VIP viewing area in Texas, captures the moment the vehicle disintegrated in mid-air, a reality that suddenly made her theoretical flight a terrifying possibility.
The photograph, taken on 20 April 2023 from the VIP section of SpaceX’s launch viewing area on South Padre Island, Texas, shows the immediate aftermath of the vehicle’s disintegration. The debris from the explosion, caused by an “RUD” or Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly, fell over the local houses and forced SpaceX to close the launch facility for four months of reconstruction and a massive clean-up operation.
For Rhiannon Adam, the image is more than a record of a failed launch; it is a stark reminder of the real dangers she had been chosen to face. She had been selected in 2021 from an open call to be one of eight civilians to fly around the Moon on a free SpaceX Starship flight funded by Yusaku Maezawa.
We put on a brave face but secretly I was thinking: “Wow, the risks are no longer theoretical. I could have been on that.”
The explosion, which occurred after four minutes of flight, obliterated the concrete launchpad and tower with the power of the raptor engines. The dust cloud that rose from the destruction was a physical manifestation of the project’s sudden collapse, a fact that Adam would soon learn was the beginning of the end for dearMoon.
At the time, Adam was completely consumed by the project, which had taken over her life and career. She had been plucked from obscurity and placed in a surreal world she could never have imagined, and the flight had become her entire identity.
Mission cancelled
Maezawa had missed the April launch attempt because he had returned to Japan after the previous day’s scrub. The explosion was the first of several setbacks that would ultimately lead to the project’s cancellation in mid-2024.
Adam and the other crew members received an email invitation to a Zoom call to discuss the project’s future. They were told that the dearMoon mission was not continuing, but the communication was framed as a minor disappointment, like the cancellation of a favorite TV show.
This wasn’t just a project – it had become my whole identity. I still dreamed about it every night. It was a poisoned chalice and it obliterated my career as I knew it.
The cancellation was devastating for Adam, who had been preparing for a journey that she believed would be the rest of her life. The project had been a central focus of every conversation she had, and its sudden end left her with a profound sense of loss.
Art as a response
Adam has transformed her personal experience into a new project called Rhi-Entry, which is currently on display at the International Centre for the Image in Dublin until 23 December. The exhibition blends the visual tropes of a space museum with facts and fiction to explore her fears for the future.
She describes her work as a modern-day tragic cycle, drawing a parallel to Icarus, who flew too close to the sun. The exhibition is both tongue-in-cheek and deadly serious, moving through bathos, pathos, and hamartia.
Through her art, Adam aims to challenge the traditional image of space travelers as untouchable superheroes. She wanted to break the mould of the “chiselled-jaw GI Joe lookalike with a wife at home” and instead highlight the structural issues of power and colonisation in space exploration.
Her work is also part of the Space @ Fotografiska Tallinn exhibition until 17 January. Adam’s book, Polaroid: The Missing Manual, is published by Thames and Hudson.
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